Reminder: It is just flesh

It is just flesh.

I keep coming back to that over and over again.

That society has villainized flesh. That I have villainized flesh. That flesh has somehow been at the heart of so much of my unhappiness, disdain, and lack of respect for myself. Flesh.

Stepping back and looking at it, it becomes a shock to realize that I spent so many years hating flesh.

I would stand in the mirror and grab at the flesh around my stomach, fearful that everyone else could see this part of me that I found so disgusting, so vile. I would stare at every angle of flesh in the mirror, criticizing it, criticizing the shape and size and amount.

I hated having a larger amount of flesh. I hated living in that body with all the things that I thought was wrong with it.

But one day I woke up. And I didn’t wake up a changed woman who loved herself and every inch of her flesh. But I shook myself awake, took that step back and reminded myself, it is just flesh.

It is just a body. Just my vehicle for moving through life. Just a human meat suit. It is just a body. It is just flesh.

And once I started to remind myself of that, the self hatred ebbed away. 

After all, why was I spending so much time hating something that was just one piece of me. It didn’t define my worth. My family wouldn’t love me more or less depending on my amount of flesh. So why was I letting the amount of flesh lead my life? When it was just a small piece of the puzzle.

The tip here is to reframe how you think about your body. Changing your perspective can change so much. So try this out!

Reframing: “Cognitive reframing is a psychological technique that consists of identifying and then changing the way situations, experiences, events, ideas, and/or emotions are viewed. Cognitive reframing is the process by which such situations or thoughts are challenged and then changed.”

Some examples:

“I hate my body.” REFRAME: “It is just a body, it does not define my worth.”

“No one will love me unless I change my body.” REFRAME: “If their love is conditional on my appearance, then it is not real love.”

“I need to lose weight to be happy.” REFRAME: “Happiness doesn’t come from my appearance. Losing weight is not a guaranteed path to happiness.”

Try reframing your thoughts around your body, and that can help you move towards body acceptance and self respect.